Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Optimist: The glass is half full!
Realist: The glass is there.
Opportunist: *drinks the water*
Hypochondriac: The glass is crawling with bacteria.
Hipster: The glass was there before it had water.
Engineer: The glass is structurally sound.
Manager: The glass isn't want I wanted.
Scientist: The glass is full of H2O, various other molecules suspended in the water and an Oxygen atmospheric mix.
Inventor: The glass can be made better, and I just did. Make it better I mean.
Salesman: The glass can be yours for 4 easy payments of just $19.99 - hurry and you'll get one more for no extra charge!
Facebook: The glass needs some likes - if you don't like it then it will never be full again!
Twitter: The glass is here.
Pinterest: The glass can be made following this recipe.
Instagram: The glass looks like this in my hand, as I am drinking it.
Google+: The glass is in your circle of 'Dishware'.
DeviantArt: The glass has at least 790,000 differing versions.
Tumblr: The glass has been fandomed.
Supernatural: The glass has holy water.
Doctor Who: The glass is actually a portal to another universe where it is a female named Crystal.
Sherlock: The glass is actually a type of Tumbler known as a "Highball Glass". Though without breaking it, it would be near impossible to tell where it was crafted.
Avengers: The glass is charged with power from the tesseract.
Loki: The glass, there is nothing wrong wi-EHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE
Thor: The glass, I like it. ANOTHER! *smash*
TMI Fandom: The glass doesn't compare to the city of glass, and the water inside could not summon Raziel.